I decided to write this blog post in the hopes of clearing my own mind. I have been dealing with toxic people for so many years that sometimes it gets hard and foggy and I keep telling myself “it’s fine I don’t care anyways” when I actually do care, and I get annoyed of these people’s actions that are triggered towards me. I think the easiest way to deal with them is to cut them off. Straight to the point. However, it is super hard to do that when a) you know them for years and b) you really hope they will change / their actions are not “personal”, and you keep telling yourself “that’s who they are”. Well, there is the problem. Telling yourself that this is who they are when their actions annoy you and upset you is a clear indicator that they shouldn’t be in your life in the first place. But the hardest part is to cut them off. How do you do it? What do you say? It happened to me recently that I found out I have a “toxic” friend. Or friends should I say. I used to be friends with this girl for four years, the whole university. We were close, and I would often give her advice, and we would help each other out. Until recently, I started to feel a really weird behaviour towards me. She would only text me when she wanted something from me; things like “hey, can you read this essay for me?”, “hey, can you send me this presentation?” “Hey, do you have any tips for this quiz?” and so on. At first, I didn’t make too much out of it, friends help each other, right? But too many times, these texts were only used as a method of asking for something. I had the “duty” to help her out because I was her friend. However, this friendship was more of a “you help me; I lie” kind of exchange. And so, I was tired. I was tired of dealing with these kinds of individuals, who only “gain” something of my friendship. I believe this whole pandemic situation and isolation, really made us see who is there for us, how fragile everything is and how we shouldn’t take anything for granted. Furthermore, I think the lesson is: when everything is going down, you would want to have real friends next to you.” So, on the topic of dealing with toxic friends, the best thing you can do is cut them off. And if you can’t do that for some reasons, at least don’t let them take too much space in your life.
They don’t deserve it.